Healing Through Words: Write What You Know

I get asked all the time if the Grand Mesa Men series is based on real people. The answer is yes and no. The series is based in Mesa, Colorado, which is a real place. In the first book, the male lead owns the Mesa Bloom Market, and that is a real store. In the second book a lot of the animal stories are ones I’ve experienced working at an animal shelter. In the third book, the female lead faces a lot of hardships including abuse and drug/alcohol problems, all of which I’ve seen in my personal life. In the fourth book the male lead competes in rock crawling, something my husband does. I pull inspiration from everything and nearly everyone in my life. This is controversial, because it could be argued that those aren’t my stories to tell. I agree. I always ask people beforehand if I am using something personal about them. I ask before I include a memory that impacted their life. If I’m describing a character with their traits I don’t stress as much about that, but will still tell them they may see themselves in my book. In The Man Before You, Nikki is heavily based on my actual best friend, Alexys. From the moment Alexys read the first scene with Nikki in it she knew Nikki was based on her. In Encampment all of the side female characters were loosely based on my friends, Alexys, Ciara, and Stephanie. I even used their names for the characters. 

Sometimes the use of people in my life is more subtle. It’s a look or a mannerism. A brief interaction with a stranger. Every aspect of my day has the potential to be inspiring. Then, there are memories and dreams. I used a lot of my childhood memories in Soul Jumper. When I’m done with the Grand Mesa Men series, I have an idea for a book that started with a dream I had. When I’m writing a male main character I’ve often asked the person I’m basing the character on how they’d handle the situation in the book and then used their answer to shape the story. In The Man Before You, I asked my older brother endless questions about his time in the military. I also reached out to other men I knew who had served and got their perspectives as well. I try extremely hard to be authentic in my writing and when I haven’t experienced something, I find someone who has experienced it and is willing to talk about it.   

I’m not writing nonfiction but there is inspiration in every aspect of my daily life. When someone says something funny I want to put it in a book. When my Nana tells me a story I want to replicate it. The simplest thing, a phrase, a look between two people, the seemingly insignificant details, all make a story. 

I really enjoy this personal aspect of writing. My best writing comes when it’s tied to something personal. There are a few moments in my life I haven’t touched. Memories I’m not ready to flesh out on a page. I know when I find that courage, it will make for an incredible scene. That’s the hard part of writing what you know. More often than not, it hurts. 

When you use memories from your life in your writing, the process can be profoundly healing. Memories are the threads that weave the tapestry of our lives. They are the repository of our joys, sorrows, victories, and defeats. Memories are not static; they evolve and shape-shift with time. When we revisit our memories through writing, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

Emotional Catharsis: Writing about personal memories can serve as a cathartic release. It allows you to express emotions that may have been buried deep within. Whether it's the pain of a loss, the ecstasy of a first love, or the weight of a long-held secret, putting these emotions into words can be immensely therapeutic. 

I’ve experienced this before, especially with Soul Jumper. But, like I mentioned above, I’m not quite ready to tackle some of my memories. This year I am going to challenge myself to write about some of my most painful memories. I don’t know if I’ll accomplish that, but I do know that when I eventually go there, I’ll be unlocking some extremely powerful writing and healing.

Understanding and Perspective: The act of writing encourages introspection. It prompts you to analyze your past actions and decisions, gaining a deeper understanding of why you made certain choices. This self-awareness can be a vital step towards personal growth and healing. 

When I wrote The Man Before You it helped me tremendously in unpacking past choices and coming to terms with those. I’ve said it before, but writing allows you to live multiple lives. I love that, but it can also be difficult to face certain choices. For me, The Man Before You was a way to use my newfound perspective as an adult in my late twenties to process decisions I had made in my late teens. 

Empowerment: Writing about your own experiences can be an empowering act. It allows you to reclaim ownership of your narrative. By sharing your story, you assert control over the way it's told and interpreted, which can be liberating and healing. I love the empowerment that comes with writing what you know. I love being able to take tragic moments and mold them. Writing gives me back my control and there’s a lot of profound things that can happen with that.

Connecting with Others: When you share your personal experiences through writing, you create an opportunity for connection with others who may have had similar experiences. This sense of shared humanity can foster empathy, reduce isolation, and contribute to healing. 

One of my main goals as an author is connection. I write my books and my blogs to connect with other people. I want others to know that they aren’t alone in their struggles and that we’re all doing the best we can. I love finding ways to relate to people through writing and I love reading things that I can relate to. Connection is such a huge, important piece of writing. 

If you're interested in using your memories for healing through writing, here are some steps to help you get started:

Choose a Memory: Don’t overthink this. Choose a singular memory that resonates with you, whether positive or negative. It could be a childhood event, a significant life milestone, or a recent experience. The key is to choose something that holds emotional weight for you.

Create a Safe Space: I can write anywhere. Most people I know are not this way. Find a spot where you can have quiet and the ability to think through the memory you’ve chosen. 

Begin Writing: Just write. Don't worry about structure, grammar, or punctuation at this stage. Just write from the heart, and try to capture the sights, sounds, smells, and emotions associated with the memory. Don’t get hung up on whether or not it’ll make sense or if you’ll ever use it in a book. The point right now isn’t to have a polished product, it’s to work through the memory in a way that allows for healing as well as to see if writing using memories is even something you want to/are able to do. 

Reflect and Revise: After you've written about the memory, take some time to reflect on what you've written. Oftentimes, I will walk away at this point and give myself some time to process before going back and re-reading what I wrote. Consider what insights or emotions have emerged. The last step would be to revise your writing if necessary. If the exercise isn’t for a book, you don’t need to edit it. But, if it’s something you’d like to eventually use in a book scene, now would be the time to get it ready for that. 

Share if You Wish: Sharing your writing is a personal choice. It’s also one that takes courage. If you’re reading this as someone who has never published, you may decide to keep your writing private or only share it with a trusted friend or family member. If you do decide to publish, it likely will enhance your healing process by fostering connection and empathy between you and readers. 

Writing what you know, especially when drawing from personal memories, is a transformative and healing journey. It’s a journey I’ve been on since as long as I’ve been writing. I used to keep journals and write short stories, even as young as five years old, and I’ve always tied my writing to my life. When you go through difficult things, it’s important to find a way to process them. Everyone with trauma needs an outline. For me, that’s writing. It's a process that allows me to make sense of my past, find catharsis, and connect with others. Whether you're an experienced writer or a novice, the act of putting your memories into words can be a powerful tool for healing and personal growth. I challenge you to pick up that pen or open a blank document and start writing your story—it could be the first step on a path to profound healing.

If you have questions about writing using your memories, send me an email at shalanabattles@gmail.com